The Precious Ones

32

Asalaam Aleykum reader.. yeah you, aren’t you going to say Aleykum Salaam back?…say it, say it…tsk tsk tsk I can’t believe I had to tell you twice, you are something else I tell you… something else.

Ok so the drill here is ; explain my absence, blame my laziness, apologize and move on to the topic… Yeah let’s assume I just did that, and move on.. so here we go.

Quran An Nisa (4:34)

“ Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard.–”

I feel like most people use this verse to somehow imply that men are better than women or above women in value or something. If you have ever felt that way then this post is for ya… and if not, it’s still for you.

Let’s start with the simple premise of what it means when something is assigned to “protect and maintain something else” tell me what is usually more precious, the thing being protected or the thing protecting?

Ever heard of the jewellery store heist where the perpetrators broke in and stole all the windows, doors, bullet proof glass and left the stones untouched?. No? really??  me neither… because that would probably land the thieves a solid position in the Guinness book of records for the dumbest idiots that ever lived.

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Men were made stronger than women in whatever aspects  in order to protect them and to guard them not to oppress and belittle them. And when men fail to perform their duties, it’s understandable that women feel betrayed and try to distance themselves from men and “make it on their own” (Hence feminism, or radical feminism) .(I feel like I’m treading across a landmine with that statement but heck it’s already out there).

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Which begs the question, why are our Muslim sisters so precious?, our mothers, daughters, sisters and wives.

Well a good guess might be because they are the key to our nation. They are the ones who toil for nine months carrying the next generation and there after feed and nurture them. Raise them.  They are the ones that pass on the teachings of Islam to our children, they are the ones who back up even their husbands who are meant to protect them, they give them peace of mind, support and love… in more ways than one…. Yes I said it! Sue me.

They are the Nations care-takers.

They are the MVP’s of the Muslim world and the World at large, but in all fairness, other than religion this applies to all our sisters in the world, Muslims and non-Muslims, so let’s treat them with the respect, tenderness and caring that they deserve.

Yes sometimes they will get emotional and irrational and you might hear things that would make you wish your super power was memory editing, but hey no one said this God-given protecting and maintaining gig was going to be easy. Yes… occasionally we might need to protect them from themselves too.

It comes with the territory. Cowboy up! We were made strong for a reason

 Our Muslim sisters are the most precious things on earth. They are worth it!

And sisters, take it easy on the brothers, you guys don’t come with a manual (no matter how much we pray you did) so technically speaking we have been winging it since Adam (AS). We will slip up every now and then, but eventually we’ll come around, so be patient with us.

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Love you all for the sake of Allah.

  • ABD
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17 thoughts on “The Precious Ones

  1. Wa’alaikumussalaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu!
    Ok I really don’t know how to react to this…I mean usually reading your blog either gets me all pumped up to do something productive like try to be a better Muslim, put in more effort in doing good things, or gets me thinking about life and stuff Alhumdulillah. But this was different, in a good way though…um I’m not sure if I should be delighted or surprised or amused. I think I’m a bit of all three haha. Like seriously I think this has gotta be one of the sweetest posts on your blog! Masha’Allah. It’s beautifully written, I loved the simple idea behind it, the clever analogy, the rational thought process (see what I did there?), and of course the occasional humor! 😊 Allahumma baarik lakum.

    Jazak Allah khair

  2. Wa Alaykum Asalam,

    DISCLAIMER- just wanted to vent is all.

    Want to start off by saying, this post is touching. Heartwarming. Aside from the memes, I understand your point. Women are to be protected because they are said to be precious due to their roles in this dunya. Roles, as in more than one. And of course when the protector fails his duties, they can pick up on that shortfall. But (you had to feel that but coming) sometimes men (or women) like to portray women as weak, or weaker than men. And I know you said this in your post. That’s not the case. Say that to an arrogant father who believes women are trash, or an egotistical brother who believes women are mere distractions, or an uneducated woman who thinks education is made by and for men. They are Muslims. Sad. And just like you said, when women depend on their “protectors” to come home, what happens when they don’t? What happens when they feel betrayed and are on their own? Mistrust and misunderstanding. They might grow up with the same narrow belief or they might base their entire existence on women’s rights. I don’t know if I’m a feminist. I just know that I like to see justice. Anywhere and Everywhere. Of course, Allah is always by our side. But it takes another birth to realize Allah’s power. I say another birth because, yeah, I was born a Muslim, but I was never introduced to Allah until I had my first conversation with Him. After that, I felt as if I was a different person. Now, the conversation had no dialogue, but you know what I mean. It all depends on the circumstance. Also when is that part 2 coming out. I AM STILL WAITING…

    P.S. We might not come with a manual, but word is chocolate is everything. Just saying.

    • Wuuuhhh, I don’t know what to say, that vent hit the mark. I understand the frustration and I hate it just as much. No one can blame women for the reaction. There are a lot of terribly misinformed and misguided people who unfortunately have a mouth and say things, it’s not their problem actually, it’s just the world is too lenient towards idiots.

      As for part 2 hahah, I’m still trying to work on that… so bloody hard. But I will definitely do a part 2.

      • Hey, so I have been really cracking my head about part 2, I have a lot of material to part 4 actually… thing is, making it “Shariah-compliant” to post it here is quite a challenge… sounds weird but I have been writing those kind of scripts for a while and separating male and female and making the relationships “ok” is ummmm challenging… haha so I’m kinda stuck.

      • Hi, sorry I’ve been out for almost a year. I didn’t receive any notification from your comment. I am reaaaallly glad that you’ve been working on your writing. I would LOVE to read them. And I don’t know if I understood it completely, but if you post anything on your blog, it should be real. I don’t mean real-life events, if it’s fictional, it’s your story. Sometimes we see haram relationships, and if you’re going to write about it, that’s what you’re going to write about. It’s fictional, but to read something real, something we see everyday, something people face and don’t know how to deal with, is intriguing. Again, I’m not sure if I understood what you meant by “shariah-complaint.” I’ve been working on fictional writing during my “break.” mainly brainstorming, and then writing, then deleting, then writing, then I forget about it for a while. But aside from that I’m still waiting to read part two.

      • Heyyy , by saying not “Shariah compliant” I mean there are haram relationships in it.

        And has it been almost a year?? Wooww, where have you been?

      • School. Work. School. Work. But decisions take up the majority of my time. Which then wears me out. But alhamdillah I’m not entirely lost. How about you? Have you spoken to your family about your faith? (You could ignore this question if too personal…I would completely understand).

        But, when will I get to read part 2? I think a year was fair enough. Could you at least give us a snippet?

  3. w’alaikum assalamu w’rahmat Allahi w’barakatih
    First of all, I think it was a great post. If only more men had those beliefs, we would be in a perfect world.
    Secondly, I wanted to go into a lengthy comment about my opinion (which I will probably end up doing) but unfortunately I don’t have the time. Once I start ranting, it just never stops. And yes, I may branch out into a different subject, so please bear with me. That’s what old age does to you 😉
    I think a lot of men use that verse to their advantage just to show authority without any regard to what their actual responsibilities to their women are. I do agree that some women prefer to ‘make it on their own’ due to how men treat them but that is not necessarily the case with all women.
    Men definitely need to step up their game when it comes to responsibility. We are in a day and age where men are getting lazier and less responsible. Which ultimately leads to women joining the workforce just to make ends meet. This I can understand as an ultimate decision. I say ultimate decision because I believe that first and foremost, a woman’s major priority is her home and children. If and only if there is nobody else to provide financial stability in the home, then a woman is required to work to maintain a stable income. This only applies to married women with children. (This is my handbook for healthy marriages 🙂 )
    Now for younger women who bear the responsibility of maintaining financial stability for the home, more power to you. I say this because once you marry, you have an obligation towards your husband and children. Maybe you youngins think that I’m being unfair but trust me, you will see the light one day and realize that I’m right. I have been there and done it all. So this is basically based on live research 😉
    If you think long and hard, you will know that a household needs a caregiver who will nurture and care for the family while the man brings home the bread. I guess it can be vice versa, depending on what the couple agrees on. What I’m trying to say is, there needs to be someone in the home to take care of the children and household needs. Don’t take my word for it, there has been research on how a two income household affects marriage negatively. So this is not just an Islamic perspective, this is universal.
    Islam teaches us that women have the most important obligation, which is taking care of the family. It is not a simple task people. Out of everything I’ve accomplished in life, being a stay at home mom is definitely the hardest job on earth.
    On the other hand, some women work for ambitious reasons. In this day and age it’s a norm for women to work side by side with their male counterpart just because they deem it necessary to achieve their ambitious goals in life, not thinking about how that affects the family as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against women working. I’ve worked before but not until my children were old enough to care for themselves. And yes, it feels exhilarating to have the power to make your own money and feel independent. But then again, that is not our goal as Muslim women, to chase after our ambitions.
    Contrary to what you may think after reading my comment, I have been called a feminist all my life. So that tells you that I have women’s interests in mind. I’m not one of those women who hates on women.
    So ultimately, yes, men need to be more responsible towards their women if they want to have a stable and healthy household.

  4. so yeah, I kinda forgot if I actually sent my last comment or not because, as I was about to, a hundred other things came up ….arghhhh :0
    I probably wont find out until you’ve read and approved it so……..
    And yes, it was very long so I deserve to pout : (
    Besides, as I recall, there is this function that tells you that your comment is awaiting modification or whatever, right?

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