Marriage… Yaaayyyyyy it’s that topic we all love. Or is it just me?
Anyway let me get right to it, so the story goes, I was going around asking people what seemed to be an odd question (Story of my life), and the question was; Why get married? No seriously why? I mean apart from legal (halal) sex of course. (wait)I sense some of you were expecting me to be more subtle…OK so why marry apart from …you know …yeeaah you know… (It actually feels like I made it worse). Moving on…
So I asked a couple of friends and some unsuspecting random people, and I kept getting some of the same answers that weren’t really to my satisfaction. Like well some would say about the hadith;
“ Abdullah (b. Mas’ud) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to us: O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford It should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.”
Lowering the gaze well that has a lot to do with you know (m not making this any better am I?)
And then there was companionship, sweet but that’s not exclusive to marriage. And in some marriages that’s not really there. I know ideally it should be in every marriage but unfortunately that’s not the case.
So what else did they have for me? Kids, children, those little rascals in daipers? Well and good, let the Ummah grow, so marry for sex and kids? Ummm Not quite there yet. Ahh then there was the “build each other spiritually, and support each other in that manner”….true true, very noble cause. But I remain a skeptic as the devil’s advocate in this and say again that’s not exclusive to marriage. Some marriages pull people even further away from Allah. I mean that’s if we are going to be honest about it.
Of course hence why the Prophet (s.a.w) said in the hadith;
“Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!”. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Still…I wanted to know what made marriage so special, and so recommended in Islam and basically almost every religion on the planet. In Islam its half our deen….seriously think about how huge that is…
“ Al-Bayhaqi narrated in Shu’ab al-Eemaan from al-Raqaashi: “When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.”
So as my search continued, I finally got the answer from a friend of mine, we don’t meet often but it happend…and we went down the same path as everyone else but finally he said, marriage makes us ( drum rolls please….keep going, not quite there yet, and..now ) marriage makes us more COMPASSIONATE (woohhhooooo finally) . We learn to truly love and care, for one another, we build a family, we become more empathetic, gentle and kind. In many ways it opens our hearts and dare I say purifies them, making us more humble and patient.
Now I am not saying that marriage automatically makes us more compassionate or that everyone who is married is more compassionate than the rest. No, not at All, but what I am saying is that marriage is the perfect training ground for being compassionate. That’s what I found to be exclusive to marriage and it’s bloody sad that some people miss out on that after getting married. (Moment of Silence please) Moving on..
Through forgiving mistakes, overlooking each other’s flaws, covering for one another and being selfless more often; our hearts become more tender and more human? When you think about it, isn’t that what Islam is teaching? Being more compassionate makes us more likely to live a proper Muslim life. The type of compassion found in a marriage and a family can’t be found in other settings, and doesn’t the society stem from marriage and family? So eventually the root of compassion in a society, better yet compassion in the world stems from Marriage. –LAWYERED!!!
Well after this practically everything else falls into place, companionship, building each other spiritually, kids, love, the whole deal.
I know you think it’s over and you would be right, but I am a firm believer of the double tap, so here is the final bullet.
This is pretty easy and a no brainer…. So what is one of Allah’s most mentioned Attribute?
That’s right….The most Compassionate.
BOOYAAH…I rest my case. (Take a bow and Exit stage left)
Love you all for the Sake of Allah
(My apologies for the long pause there)
Am I right or am I RIGHT?? Do you agree with me? Or got more to add?