Of course if we are talking about how to save a life, let’s also talk about how not to destroy one.
First and foremost let’s NEVER EVER CRITICIZE, not their ideas, beliefs or actions it’s just not good, it doesn’t work, it alienates people. Rather listen… just listen and try to understand their point of view and ask questions to get an even better understanding. Let them express themselves without restriction and fear of criticism.
Most people can generally save themselves once they see what they have been doing is wrong in their own logic. Though this needs time, so be patient with people and they will be patient with you.
Second be humble, our Prophet (S.A.W) was the most humble of all people and what did this give him aside from Allah’s pleasure? He won people’s hearts over. Humility wins people’s hearts, not pride, not arrogance, or “I am right and you are wrong”, none of these…just humility.
Third let’s learn to truly forgive and forget, this isn’t just about saying we forgive the person. It is more like a promise never to bring it up again and use it against them, and even if we haven’t yet got it out of our hearts, remembering that we promised to forgive them and us not mentioning it, Inshaa Allah Allah will make it easy for us to truly forgive and forget.
Remind kindly, when someone is doing an obvious wrong, we don’t need to highlight it, underline it, italicize it and put it in BOLD, for them to get the point. Let’s just try in the kindest way to point out that it’s wrong, or better yet let’s just tell them what is the alternative thing they could do instead.
And remember, always lead by example. Before saying anything first take a long hard look at ourselves….very long, very hard. We would be humbled and we would see why it is better for us to do something than to tell someone else to do it.
May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. Believe me I need guidance more than most others.