People differ in personalities out of the decisions and choices they make. Decisions and choices, influenced by their perception of reality, thoughts influenced by the amount of knowledge and experience they posses and by the degree to which their internal environment is affected by their external environment.

   I believe one’s personality is a reflection of one’s perception of reality. It is built, structured and updated by the day to day thoughts in our minds. “A man is what he thinks all day.” We are products of our thoughts and these thoughts are built by words. “Words offer the means to meaning and to those who will listen is the enunciation of truth”.- V for Vendetta.

   How do you know someone? Is it by looking at them for prolonged periods of time? Just looking at what they do? Or by actually talking to them and hearing what they have to say. Their words tell you who they are, not necessarily what they are saying but the words they are using and how they are using them. If someone you just met cursed three times in the first three sentences, need he say more??? He could be having a bad day but still you get the point.

The kind of words we use are influenced by

1) Amount of knowledge we posses

2) Experience we have

3) External environment / surroundings (people, friends we hang out with)

By choosing the words we use, we influence a change in the type of thoughts we have and our perception of reality and hence our personality.

An Example is: Destructive words and constructive words:

An Example of a destructive sentence; “I don’t want to be poor” – motivated by fear, nothing to look forward to, depressing, minimizes possibilities of success.

An Example of a constructive sentence “I want to be rich” – motivating, a higher goal, something to look forward to, creates possibilities.

 Hence choose your words wisely, they affect you more than you think, your words are you. Speak with kindness and you will be kind, speak gently and you will be gentle. Speak humbly and you will be humble. It is not just in the words you choose but also how you choose to say them. Shouting gentle words isn’t being gentle. People who speak humbly always seem to be annoyingly composed. Like they have achieved a level of inner peace, no one can get to. Please do not confuse inferior complex with humility. That would be mistaking kindness for weakness. It takes a very confident person to be humble.

  Humility is not a talent, it is a skill. You practice it and perfect it. First starting with your words, and later it will develop into actions and later into who you are. That’s when you have achieved inner peace.

The stability of your internal world depends on which of the two building blocks you have used

1) Pride

2) Humility

One made of pride, is futile and fragile, full of worries and rarely happy or stable, competitive and blind, it is insecure, and not self aware.

“Over-confident people who believe they are invincible often die young”. They fail to assess their competition, they fail patience, and they fail to gain new skills to move forward.

 However one made out of humility is free from worry; it is patient, kind, happy and stable. It is open to new ideas, open to opposition, ready to be corrected, it is satisfied and thankful.

An enemy is not someone or something you dislike or hate, rather it is whatever stands in the way to success other wise known as Obstacles to Progress. Pride is the enemy, – eliminate obstacles to progress

 Pride is not the opposite of shame, on the contrary it’s the cause of it, and humility is the only antidote to shame.

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever has pride in his heart equal to the weight of a mustard seed shall not enter Paradise.” Someone asked, “A person likes to wear beautiful clothes and fine shoes.” He replied, “Allah is beautiful and likes beauty. Pride means rejecting the truth and looking down on other people.”

[Sahih Muslim]

Be humble and forge your own personality.

Thank you for your time.




  1. Pingback: Quote of the Day 48 – And Now, with a Fierce Humility: LEAD! | Steven Bowen's Blog

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